So I realized something whilst watching the latest episode of the Persona 4 Golden anime.
If Yu never came to Inaba, the murders would never have happened. Why? Because instead of Adachi, Dojima would have had to look after Mayumi Yamano. If Adachi didn’t kill Mayumi, everything wouldn’t have kicked off. Yu wouldn’t have the power of Persona, Saki would still be alive, Namatame wouldn’t fall into despair, thus developing a messiah complex.
There would have been no murders.
If only if Dojima was free.
If only if you didn’t come to Inaba.
And Adachi would’ve never been jealous of Yu and he would’ve had that spot in the Dojima household that he wanted all along. Fuck. Yu ruined everything.
it’s 2 am and i am so fucking gay
does any of this make any sense
i have no idea if crippling loneliness is any better than constant misery and suicidal thoughts. i guess it probably is but it still sucks
on one hand i’m a much better person than i was a year or even half a year ago and i think overall im feeling better and i don’t feel like killing myself every day and im not dumping all my emotional baggage on my friends, but on the other hand im still having a really hard time and its hard to feel like im doing any better sometimes and ive felt really lonely all summer which i hope goes away once i start school and im feeling more and more like i can’t talk to anyone about my problems because ive already burdened all my friends so much and honestly i would go back to being miserable if it meant i had friends. id go back to last year in a heartbeat if it meant i could be with my rp group again and not fuck up any of my friendships this time and just stay friends with everyone instead of slowly drifting apart and them forgetting about me
i wish i wasnt so scared to express to ppl how much they mean to me and i wish i didn’t have such a hard time expressing myself in general but it’s scary sometimes after ive already ruined one relationship by being too clingy. i don’t want to come off as clingy or overbearing so i guess instead i come off as an apathetic asshole which i suppose isn’t much better but it’s really hard to help. im always either too much or not enough and it sucks
i think i’m doing good
it’s so hard for me to tell how much i actually mean to any of my friends like do you actually care about me or do you just tolerate me? do you ever think about me at all or am i just, like, a background character
u ever wonder if ppl think about you as much as you think about them
still raining, still can’t sleep